So I have ADHD often medically associated with a difficult birth. My mother was in labor for 36 hours before the Drs decided she should have an emergency C-section. I am 62 years old and I have lived with ADHD for my entire life and without being correctly diagnosed by either a GP, a psychologist, or a psychiatrist. I have never been medicated other than being offered antidepressants (SSRI’s) and I have struggled to understand why I get bored in jobs after a short time and why I am unable to focus for more than a few seconds on any task without having to swap it up.
I strongly believe that going through a difficult birth has contributed to my ability to function in the world, where focus and linear thinking are encouraged and revered in most life activities. I am unable to do any of these activites in that order. After my mother was in labor for 36 hours my father was told they could expect me to be stillborn and not to get their hopes up I would survive. But survive I have and I am still here to tell my story, a story that has been marked by endess confusion and struggle without actually knowing what was wrong with me, until quite recently.
I would describe my life as living through the surface of a pool where I am constantly trying to break through the surface of the water so I can breathe. Sometimes I manage to crack the fresh air, other times I swallow a mouth full of chlorinated dregs and sink to the bottom again – stretching always for the surface where I try to scrape through and reach that beckoning blue sky.
I have variously been described as noisy, too much, crazy, a risk taker, unstable, too honest, no filter, and conversely creative, a genius, generous, kind and refreshing. Take your pick.
My whole life all I have ever wanted to do is write a novel. However the best I have been able to manage is a short book of poetry. Published some 20 years ago now I look back and wonder, if apart from my daughter, this will be my only life achievement.
My siblings were born to quick cut c-sections and do not have ADHD.
I would say that having ADHD is a super power!
Especially when you work, like I did, in the media.
Journalists need to focus on quick short bursts of energy in their stories and having ADHD is perfect for short term goals. Anything requiring a long term focus leaves me with performance anxiety. Unable to perform.
I am giving up alcohol for a year to see if it has been badly impacting my ability to function in the world. As I have not been medicated for ADHD I have self-managed and self-medicated and alcohol slows down my brain and lets me rest when otherwise I would be frantically over-thinking 17 balls of different thought in the air at any one time.
Follow me on my journey and let’s see if we can get that novel written.
ADHD- taking a break 
Leave a comment